The Humiliation

Over and over again I go to the post. Over and over again I leave the post in frustration. Countless times I have decided to quit this sport, only to render myself a fool to have thought such a thing as I head off to the next trial. For five long years, I have humiliated myself at dog trials. Intermittently that humiliation is smattered with jubilation when my dog actually completes the course leaving me with a score. More often than not, the score is not a worthy score in the grand scheme of things but, to me, any score is worthy of celebration.

Recently I was at a trial where the sheep were difficult, the field was difficult, it was a difficult trial. Day one I ran Data and left the field. Day two of the trial, I was determined not to leave the field. Data did exemplary outwork, despite the fact that the setout person let the sheep go before he got to them. I tried to concentrate and remember all the things that I had learned. Keep talking to him. I kept whistling to him to let him know he was doing ok. I knew I was going to need a perfect stop once he met the sheep so I whistled him down before I needed it, knowing he wouldn’t take the whistle. My intent was to kind of give him a heads up. When I needed him to stop, I spit out my whistle and screamed like a banshee. LIE DOWN!!! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING? LIE DOWN ! Plop, down he went. Perfect. Sheep stopped, dog stopped, I had some semblance of control. I later learned that this type of action is managing mistakes rather than actually handling a dog. Obviously, this is not what is intended. It is intended to tell your dog to lie down and have it actually do as you ask. That said, I know Data doesn't do as I ask and I DO have to manage mistakes with him in order to compensate. Yes, that is an excuse.

In any case, Data was really trying hard to be a good dog and we both knew it. Next came the turn at the post. It was going to be unusually difficult but this is the one place on the course that I feel confident. Things weren’t pretty going around the post and in my fervor to do things on the course ‘correctly’, I didn’t let Data do what was sensible given the circumstances. I gave him a wrong flank and we were done. Humiliated once again. Worse, I let my dog down after he had tried so hard for me.

I suppose that after five years of apparent floundering in this sport, I really should have quit but I keep going back for yet another taste of humble pie. Year after arduous year, I go back. I go back because regardless of my success, or lack thereof, I love this sport. I love everything about it. Including those humbling moments.